Our Nature – Love
Becoming a mum showed one major quality – the ability to experience the capacity to love in such a deep way, that one can see an evaporation of oneself in our interactions, and instead the marvel of the embodiment of a love that actually comes out effortlessly, from within. We do not need to ‘learn’ this – it just arises.
In fact this type of love, is a love beyond us – SO LARGE that it is a true blessing to experience. It unites, and is extremely compassionate …….
In recognizing this capacity to love from within, it also is a love that cannot be ‘claimed’ as ‘mine, from me, the ego’ – nope! It does not come from Ego and the idea of me. It is in fact something that comes thru us, bypassing the ego-mind. No personal credit can be taken for its’ ability to express itself and shine.
Ego-mind – searching for love outside
When judgment comes in, against any child, or other being, or even ourself, we are then in our ego-mind – and not in our heart. This is the place of separation, condemnation, fighting, and righteousness, which occurs where we get triggered by an outside circumstance. This reaction or feeling arises when the love we had hoped we would receive from outside of us, has not transpired and thus our expectations are not met.
This quick idea of lack (a lie as a conclusion) – comes from the ego-mind which is looking for fulfillment without, through ‘being loved’ by someone outside of us. Here is the big conditioning – the Cinderella and Prince Charming “story” – that someone will fall in love with us, and we will live happily forever thereafter.
This is the place of “unconsciousness” arising because we are not recognizing our true nature – and thus we inappropriately fall into division with one another – driven ONLY by a lack of understanding.
Because this reaction from the ego-mind is against our true nature, it thus feels very heavy and it also creates suffering. Our nature knows everything is inside. Yet our ego-mind searches outside of ourself. This clash offers us opportunities to find hidden solutions.
Remembering Child-Like Innocence
It can become clarifying to understand, at least intellectually, that if one is feeling light and optimistic, fearless and is open-hearted – just the way children behave in their innocence, then we are in our true nature.
And when we are in our heaviness we are now ‘not in our nature’ and hence why it feels not so palatable, because deep down we always want to return to our nature. The search for that happens like an undercurrent that runs inside of us.
Motivation that comes from Suffering
Knowing these two differing states, being in nature and not being so, it has left me contemplating and understanding what role suffering has to play in our lives. Suffering is essentially the ego-mind and everything it creates as part of its heaviness, conclusions, judgments, blame etc.
And bizarrely, I have discovered that the feeling of ‘heaviness’ can be good – as it acts as a catalyst – it is kind of motivational to get us back into lightness – to force us to grow and expand, beyond the occurrences outside of our control that are not appeasing us.
This is the school of life…………to see everything happens for a reason in its season.
Blessings returning back to Self-love
- See our state
- Recognize how it feels
- If it is not good – reflect back
- See what conclusion comes to mind
- If it is a good feeling -reflect back
- See what changed within yourself to bring you to this point
When we scan back through our life, retrospectively the blessings can always be found in the change within us that occurred … and thus the motto – this too shall pass – helps us a little as we navigate each moment being lived.
When we do a stock take of the changes that occurred, it is often that we found more of our inner strength and more self-love has emerged. This is quite beautiful – because this is a realization that everything has been slowly taking us back to our nature, no matter how complicated or egregious it had felt.
Self-Compassion
None of us are perfect – we will all make mistakes in our connections with one another, because innocence can be easily lost in a moment of lack of ‘self-awareness’ – but the truth is – in any given moment – we are always doing the best we can! Our unconsciousness sabotages our life, only to encourage us to find our consciousness, so this formula is always aiding us. Mistakes are a beautiful way to get back on track.
So, IF it is:
Loneliness, sadness, grief, depression, fury, fear, anxiety, insecurity, blame, shame and more we face ….this too shall pass as we make new choices to learn and rise.
Kindi Dulai
Reconnection with that ‘love tap’ that flows without limit, which fortunately resides within, is our respite. Even creating boundaries can be part of that love language too. To say no to that which disrespects your essence …is our prerogative.
