Life is a game
Life is a game, in which our ego pains, come to the surface, randomly from time to time, so we can evolve.
We participate in this game of life, so that we can address those pains… until we feel centred and rooted, in no separation, inside ourselves.
Pain Inside
If we are feeling emotionally ‘hurt’- by a parent, child, family member, partner, friend, acquaintance then clearly a WOUND from inside has been activated.
There had to be some pain already inside ….for that hurt to arise. As in this quote below :
“Relationships do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you”
Eckhart Tolle
Blame and Hurt
All it takes is for some sore from inside to ooze….And hurt does arise very easily, since most people do not know how to love one another unconditionally.
Whilst many people will blame the ‘other’ – it is more helpful to ask relevant questions.
Questions
- So what is this pain, or wound, we all seem to carry???
- What is at the root of such a wound?
- Why is giving unconditional love so damn hard?
Key Wound
The key wound, in my experiences seems to be a variation of this theme below :
- “I am rejected”
- “I do not belong”
- “I am not wanted”
- “I am being abandoned”
- “I am being pushed out”
and then this wound brings up our associated fears too – especially the fear ‘I am afraid to be alone’. ‘I am afraid to survive on my own’. ‘I am afraid of the unknown’. ‘I am afraid to die’.
Origin of Hurt and How it is Expressed
“Hurt” of this form can be circulating within our psyche for years of course, perhaps even lifetimes and it surfaces within others in my home too…. this is called the ego-mind.
Each time we clash in perspectives, this wound pops up its big ugly head.
Often I face tears of grief in the face of this feeling – discouraged and feeling sorry for myself. Other expressions can be anger or resentment, grudges or judgments.
Some form of division, and ‘reaction’ or trigger arises.
Redirection of Focus
The mind can only redirect its’ focus on the opportunity, away from this ‘hurt’ if consciousness comes to its’ aid. Without that we simply flounder!
This redirection is a ‘make it or break it’ moment for our mind – because which way it focuses, says everything about our mood, and mental/emotional wellbeing.
When our mind focuses on the wound and hurt, the heaviness or unconsciousness, leaves a trail of despair. When the mind focuses on the light and opportunity tucked inside the experience encountered, everything becomes easier.
This is often called the silver lining, or lesson. Lol.
Birth Trauma
I just learnt through the dalian method, that this major wound of hurt, is part of our birth trauma. We are suddenly thrust out into the world – not knowing if we will survive or not – not knowing we can make it alone.
Being pushed out by force from the womb, feels like a form of rejection and abandonment when of course, we are merely entering a new bigger space of the same existence – a bigger womb, so to speak.
None of us even realize this initial entry into life shapes so much of our emotional welfare, thereafter. When we have not yet unraveled this birth trauma within us, which most of us have not – we then inadvertently cling to perceived security in whichever way we can, to people, ideas and things – and as in the case of a baby being born – we struggle whilst being pushed out, wanting to stay in the old womb.
Change and Perceived Security
This is why facing change is so hard. My own perceived security in life for over 30 years, has been my children. Clinging onto them is a false security but nevertheless has got me through my life until now.
In the early part of my life my perceived security were my parents and siblings. Other forms of security accrued through life, have been money savings too.
This perceived outside security – in whichever form it exists for you – only exists, because we do not yet know something even more pertinent – that there is no security in life – not in anything temporary outside of us, that takes the shape of form, as it will all be taken away at death.
Inner Wisdom
The only security we truly have is a discovery deep within ourself… in trusting our intrinsic capabilities, in our ability to create, but most importantly, in finding and recognizing our eternal presence.
Gaining this wisdom is not easy…..it takes inner work, and commitment – intelligence to ask profound questions – all in the pursuit to attempt to grow our awareness of ourselves and life – and to motivate us to do this – we fumble around tripping over differing triggers that arise from within our relationships ~ showing anguishes, ego bruises/wounds, and fears… this then is this ‘game of life’, we take part in, to suffer until we choose to not do so!!!
